When things don't go well accept responsibility for it. Focus on what you learned and what you'll do next time instead of who'll you'll blame. Be true to your word and respectful of others. Truthfulness and honesty are admirable qualities found in all great individuals. People respect those that accept responsibility for their actions.
Not knowing what's important
Knowing what's important requires personal insight and awareness. Understanding your key values is important because these determine your boundaries and your decision-making criteria.
Ask yourself what does it take to be a good friend, a good family person or a good colleague at work? Think about relationships past and present and determine why they worked and why they failed.
Values are expressed in actions especially under stress. Think about times when you were under stress and re-examine your choices. These will demonstrate your most important value. Values clarification is the foundation of self-confidence, self-esteem and inner personal strength. People respect others that live by the high standards they have set for themselves.
Not developing your “expert” power
There is a huge difference between be able to do something, having done something and actually doing it. Every organization is full of raw untapped potential yet they will never tap into it because most people will never develop to their full potential. And having done it isn't much better because you can't live long on past success – you actually need to demonstrate it day after day after day.
People respect those that are acknowledged experts in their area. Experts are knowledgeable in their field and experienced in obtaining results. They have demonstrated the ability to get the job done. Results serve as an inspiration to others that strive to your level of accomplishment.
With “expert” power comes the “halo” effect. This is the respect that spills over into other areas unrelated to your area of expertise. Because of your expertise in one area, people want your opinion in other areas because of their trust and respect for you.
Not taking the time to communicate
People are more influenced by powerful words and emotional appeals than by statistics and facts. People that write and express themselves well always commanded the respect of others. If you can tap into their inner feelings and inspire them to rise above their circumstances they'll follow you anywhere.
Great communicators are open and sharing and that encourages others to be as well. Share the good news and the bad. Involve others. Encourage them to be more open and sharing with their suggestions and insights.
Effective communication is always two-way. You need to express yourself well but you have to listen well. When someone comes to you with a problem you need to act on it or explain why you can't. If you don't others won't feel listened to.
Focus on what you want and can do, not on what you don't want and can't do. Self-assuredness, confidence and direction command respect.
Not developing others
Companies that grow help their people grow. Training doesn't cost you; it pays you. But training is only the first step. It's your follow-up, coaching and support that will make the difference.
People respect those that they feel can help them achieve their goals and objectives, those that are there to help them when they need help and that are giving of their time and service.
People also respect others that trust and rely on them. Ask favors of others. Entrust them to accomplish what they have been hired and trained to do. Seek their counsel and listen to them. Tell them what needs to be done not how to do it.
Look for ways to do kind acts and favors for others. Send thank-you notes, birthday cards. Pay special attention when they complete a program or accomplish something new and different. Be open and empathetic to their concerns, worries and needs.