Live simply

Dale Carnegie said that: "One of the most tragic things that I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that at blooming outside our window today."

Too many of us are putting off living, sacrificing the sacred and special moments of every day while we get caught up in the whirlpool of our hectic schedules. Too many people are getting caught up in the chaos of crisis, in the endless rushing and in chasing the illusion of success at the great cost of personal fulfillment and satisfaction. We are giving our energy to those things which might seem like they are worthwhile in the urgency of the moment but that matter very little in the long run.

It has been said that success is a journey not a destination. The wise sages have said time and time again that every minute of life is a blessing. In the East, the philosophers told us to "live in the now, enjoy the process and slow down so that you can savor the simple pleasures which will open your heart." And yet in our frantic race to become a high-tech, information rich world, all too often we miss the little pleasures that every day sends us, those little gifts that could renew our spirits and anchor us to the wonders of all creation.

The moment you start feeling gratified by the simple act of doing something for someone else or following your mission because your heart tells you that this is the right thing to do, you take a giant step along the path of enlightenment. Because true harmony is to be found within you, not outside of you. Happiness is an inside job. If you base your happiness on external objects, the moment one of those objects is taken away from you, you lose your happiness. Real happiness comes through knowing who you are and connecting to your highest self. It comes through knowing that you are not in this world - the world is in you and you can create anything you need within yourself.

Everyone of us is part of the same universal source. We are all connected in some way or another. The sages have known this truth for thousands of years. W hen you do something for someone else, you do something for yourself. Lifelong success comes from enjoying the process of living and doing things, whether it is growing a rose garden or building a business, for the sheer pleasure of doing these things.

It's like the story of the young boy who sought enlightenment from a wise monk who practiced pottery making. After many years of deep contemplation and introspection, the boy was close to enlightenment. One sunny afternoon, the boy was holding one of the monk's prized pots, and admiring its beauty when it slipped from his hand and broke into many tiny pieces. The boy felt a tremendous sense of loss at the broken pot and apologized profusely to his teacher. But the monk remained calm. With a gentle smile the teacher said "You need not be sad - it is still within me."

The wise monk realized that the true pleasure of the pot came through the process of creating and shaping it, not in owning the end product or in the external rewards that it brought him. The joy was not in the creation, it was in the journey. The joy was not in the destination but in the path. And this is precisely the same in your life. To live with deep richness and contentment, start taking the time to see the simple pleasures that are around you.

Remember, it is the simple pleasures that allow you to start caring for your spirit. Those simple pleasures allow you to start taking the time to nourish the brilliance that lies within you.

Simplifying your life is not hard to do. You just need to have the courage to carve out some time to do it. You can start to connect with your highest self through a daily period of silence or a daily period of peace as I call it in my work. This is nothing more than fifteen or twenty minutes a day where you stop rushing and simply start being, connecting to the natural wellspring of calmness which rests inside of you. Turn off the radio and the TV and don't answer the phone and realize that silence nourishes the soul.

Each and every one of us is seeking solutions to life’s greatest problems. We’re looking for a better way to live, along with practical strategies to fill our days with a greater sense of fulfillment, festivity and abundance. I have discovered, in my own life, that I’m closest to living my “best life” when the actions of my days are most closely aligned with my highest ideals. In other words, the smaller the gap between the way I appear on the outside and the way I live on the inside, the happier, more peaceful and more fulfilled I am.

I use the term “The Integrity Gap” to describe this phenomenon. Quite simply, the more closely aligned your outer world is compared with the most important values of your inner world, the better you’ll feel, the more energy you’ll have and the more success you’ll see.

Your character is essentially who you are in your silent, isolated moments. Your character is reflected by how you act when no one is around and by “who you are in the dark.” We are great pretenders and many of us have constructed a social mask to appear “together” in front of those who matter most in our lives. But hiding behind our social mask is cheating us out of who we truly are. The authentic life is the only life. Once you start showing up fully and “act real,” every aspect of your life will change. To live your best life, you must live your truth.

Living your truth will also transform your relationships. All too often, rather than speaking our truth, we communicate in a less than authentic way. Recently, while I was at the gym, there was a woman who stayed on the treadmill longer then her scheduled time. If I would have been completely in my power and spoken my truth, I would have simply walked up to her at the time my session was to have started and, in a friendly way, spoken my truth. I would have politely told her that her time was over and it was now my time and further, that the longer she stayed on the treadmill the shorter time I would have to complete my workout.

I may have also told her, in speaking my truth, that I really needed to work out today and that I was on a very tight schedule. Instead, I loudly grumbled to the person next to her about “people not abiding by the time rules” and engaged in a conversation along these lines. Speaking your truth is not always easy but it’s the courageous and the right thing to do.

Another example of this is when we talk about people behind their backs rather than confronting them directly and authentically about an issue that’s troubling.

Here are five strategies that will help you speak and live your truth and show up fully as a human being in your most authentic way:

1. Keep your promises

One of the best ways to close “The Integrity Gap” is to be a person who’s meticulous with your word and keeps each and every promise. Every broken promise has a subtle drain on your vital and creative energy. Every broken promise makes you a little less congruent with your highest self. Every broken promise diminishes your self worth and our self respect in an ever so subtle way. Once you start keeping your promises, you feel better about yourself and you know, at a very deep level, that you’re walking your talk. This promotes self love, a higher level of confidence and a stronger character.

2. Be fanatically honest

As with promise keeping, being honest in each and every one of your daily interactions promotes congruency and authenticity. It’s not always easy to be completely honest, but it’s the right thing to do and, at a gut level, you’ll feel far better about yourself. This will increase your feelings of self-esteem and allow you then to treat people better.

3. Clean up your “loose ends”

All of us have “loose ends” in our lives. These might involve unfinished projects, relationships where forgiveness needs to be given or “incompletions” that are draining your energy at an unconscious level. Once you clean these up you’ll have more energy, more creativity and more vitality. You’ll also feel better about yourself and more powerful as a human being. The moment you take out a piece of paper, record all your loose ends on a page and create an action plan to complete them, is the moment you transform all that negative energy into positive avenues that will lift your life to the next level of success.

4. Be caring versus controlling

5. Choose being kind over being right

Psychologists have discovered that humans actually crave novelty and change. Yet most of us stay in the safe harbor of the known. We think that we’ll be happier and more secure in the familiar world of the known. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Avoiding change and growth is the the most dangerous place to be as a human. Yes it is scary dealing with the unknown. Yes it is confusing to move away from the familiar. Yes it is hard to deal with change. Yet, that is where the opportunity lives. That is where growth lives. That is where our best selves live.

One of the biggest tasks of leadership (and remember - leadership isn’t about your position, it’s about the way you show up each day) is dealing with change. And when it comes to change real leaders are learners. They are open minded. They hunt down new opportunities. They question everything. They find a better way.

So when you are faced with change it’s not time to run--it’s time to learn.

Here are a few tips to help you learn your way through change.

1Read relentlessly. My personal library will be the most important thing I leave to my children. It only takes one idea in one book to take your life to a new level. Someone,
somewhere has been through what you are going through. Be wise and learn from them.

2Journal. The best way to make sense of your life is to reflect on it. And there is no better way to do that than to sit down with a crisp, white piece of paper and record your thoughts.

3Conversation. Nothing so inspires me as great conversation. Schedule conversations with people who fascinate you or even frustrate you. I respectfully challenge you to learn from the people you don’t agree with. Nothing will so clear up your stained glass window as looking at the world through someone else’s.

4Adventure. Try a new kind of food, check out a museum, tour a friend’s workplace or go on a guided nature hike. It makes you more creative. Adventure helps you see the world in a new way. And sometimes that’s all it takes to generate a big idea.

5Listen. I love my iPod. I listen to the greatest minds on the planet tell me the secret to their success. Turn your car into a university by listening to tapes or CDs on the way to work. Who learns faster wins. Nothing will get you through periods of change (and when aren’t you facing change?) better than learning.

So what can you do to get to world-class within?

We live in a high-pressure world. Your customers demand more from you than ever before, your boss expects greater results in less time and by the time you have mastered one technology, it’s often obsolete. The constant change in the marketplace and in society is so vast it makes your head spin. More new information was produced in the past 30 years than in the entire 5000-year period from 3000 BC to 1965. The effect of these new challenges has been to create an invisible epidemic, one that has the potential to rob you of your productivity, creativity and effectiveness like no other. The name of this culprit? Stress.

Here are 7 of the stress mastery lessons for mastering stress and staying focused in these turbulent times:

Reframe the Negative as Positive

Stress is essentially a matter of perception. While giving a presentation to a group of 100 prospects might strike fear in the heart of one sales professional, it will be viewed as a superb business opportunity to another. Stress management is all about thought management and the more effectively you can reframe seemingly negative events as positive circumstances, the more inspired, productive and energetic you will remain.

Continuously Grow

The best way to manage change is to keep on growing. Ironically, by clinging to old pathways of thought and action in the hope of finding a little security in these change-crazed times, you are actually putting yourself in the most insecure position possible. Make the decision to become a change master and begin to see yourself as a lifelong student. Read for 30 minutes a day, go to training seminars and listen to educational and motivational audiocassettes in your car. By expanding your own professional knowledge base you will be in a position to add greater value to your organization.

Focus on the Worthy

With all the demands on your time, you simply cannot do everything. The person who tries to do everything ultimately achieves nothing. Peak performers have a clear sense of the activities that are worthy of their time and those that contribute little to their professional and personal missions. Focusing on the worthy is the golden key to time management and life fulfillment. As management guru Peter Drucker observed: “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

Plan Your Time

If you don’t make the time to schedule your priorities in your daily planner, someone else’s priorities will get scheduled into your daily planner. All peak performing men and women understand that time is their most precious resource and guard it wisely. Set aside 30 minutes every Sunday night for your weekly planning session and ask yourself this very powerful question: “What goals do I need to accomplish over the next 7 days for me to feel this week was a success?” Remember, the days slip into weeks and the weeks slip into months and the months slip into years. If you don’t act on life, life will act on you. Get control of your time and make your weeks count.

Work Smarter, Not Harder

Tear yourself away from the outdated mindset that says “to be more productive, you must work harder.” In these pressure filled times, that’s a recipe for disaster. Adopt a new, more enlightened way to manage yourself and understand that the key to increased effectiveness is to work smarter. Stop focusing on the time spent behind your office desk and, instead, begin concentrating on getting results.

Manage Your Environment

We live in an increasingly negative world. Massive corporate downsizing, ever-increasing levels of competition and constant access to mind-numbing news stories are only a few of the influences that can adversely affect our attitudes and thought-processes if left unchecked over time. To master stress and maintain high levels of enthusiasm, meticulously guard the information you expose yourself to. Avoid anything that detracts from the clear, focused mindset you know will lead you to success. As Gandhi said: “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”

Make Time for Yourself

Ultimately, the best way to manage stress effectively is to manage yourself effectively. Have the wisdom to understand that success on the outside truly begins within. Carve out time every week to commune with nature or listen to beautiful music or get a relaxing massage. Discover the renewing power of visualization and meditation and ensure that you find a few minutes during your busy week to enjoy a little silence. Begin to manage yourself better. Get to know yourself and craft a serious action plan for personal development. You will quickly meet with higher levels of success and feel far less stress.

The only way you will ever truly succeed in this new knowledge-based economy is to become a star at work, that is, an individual who stands far above the crowd and one who is totally unique in a world where most people are trying to be more alike. The moment you make a deep commitment to becoming a star at work and burning all your bridges to the person that you once were, your life will change in an unmistakable way. The day you decide to start acting like the person you were destined to become is the day that you begin to tap into the wellspring of human talents that will lead you to your own form of personal greatness.

Discipline is the cornerstone of self-mastery. Self- discipline is a fundamental virtue to inner-power. Discipline is the wellspring that lets you live the life that you deserve. You must strengthen your inner core if you are truly dedicated to manifesting your highest potential for personal and professional success. With discipline, you will possess the inner fire needed to focus on your goals and realize your dreams.

Discipline is the virtue that gives you the courage and the inner resolve to do what you said you would do - when you said you would do it. Discipline is about promise keeping. Not only those promises you make to others, but the promises you make to yourself. Those small daily resolutions ranging from the promise to read thirty minutes a day to your commitment to raise the standards of your work at the office.

The degree of success that you achieve in business will ultimately come down to the degree of depth of your conversations. Business is, essentially, nothing more than a conversation. If you lose the conversation with your customers, you will eventually lose the business. If you lose the conversation with your team, you will eventually lose the business. If you stop engaging in personal conversations with yourself through silent reflection, eventually your business life will suffer. The more you can keep engaging in thoughtful and stimulating conversations with all those you surround yourself with, the more you will find business success as well as the personal satisfaction.

The best way to transform and inspire others is to look no further than yourself. This requires taking full responsibility for the circumstances in your life. Blaming others is no more than excusing yourself. You come into your highest power when you recognize that the only way a circumstance will change is if you change. And the more you grow and actualize the person you are destined to be, the more your outer circumstances magically seem to change.

Here are four strategies that you can use to be the change that you most wish to see in the world:

In this age of tumultuous change, too many people see work as a means to an end rather than as a means to personal greatness and self-actualization. We see work as a place we go to "put in the hours" and to generate income to pay the bills and deal with the responsibilities that life brings. However, there is a different way that we can see work: as a platform to discover who we truly are and to play our highest games as human beings.

Link Paycheck to Purpose

One of the deepest needs of every human being is the need to make a difference in the lives of others. Take the time to connect with all the people who count on you and the lives you affect through your work. Often we forget the men, women and children who rely on our work to live high quality lives of their own.

Find Work that Excites You

We spend most of our lives at work so we might as well find an occupation that fires us up and engages our hearts. Most people stay in jobs they don't like because they feel they need the security or because “it could be worse.” Yet, one of the most universal truths of all is that when you find work you love and have the courage to pursue it, success is certain to follow. We are all here for a special purpose and we all have unique gifts and talents. Discover your calling and have the self-discipline to follow it.